Gently, Gently Child.
Poco a Poco.
I started the year with huge goals, like almost everyone else. I had so many things I wanted to do this year, things I didn’t get around to doing last year.
I was going to take as many courses as possible, read over 200 books before year end, become a professional UX writer, get excellent grades, grow my socials, make excellent friends, become part of a great community and become so well-rounded that I’d look back at the end of the year and marvel at how far I had come. Not to toot my own horn but I am brilliant, I adapt easily to situations and I have potential to be outstanding. I took all these things into consideration and I could see myself becoming a better version of myself this year; spiritually, financially, socially, personally and in every other area.
I think by now, we have all caught on to the fact that it did not/has not been working out as well as I hoped, thought and imagined. Less than two months into the year, I failed. I don’t think I have met a lot of goals for this year, but I am not beating myself up for that. I realized that I was too hard on myself, I was ruthless, toxic and unkind to myself. I constantly looked at other people and compared myself because I didn’t feel like I was good enough.
So I am extending grace to myself. The same grace I give to others when they fail or falter, I will extend it to myself from now on.
I’m going to quit feeling bad about not being productive, especially since I’ve tested positive for adult ADHD although i haven’t been clinically diagnosed yet. I’ll sleep when I want and work when I want. I’ll remember that I can’t always provide 100 percent, and that an occasional 20 percent or even 5 percent on some days will suffice.
Of course, this doesn’t mean I’ll simply ignore deadlines or refuse personal development. This is where assessing yourself every now and then comes in. I’ll check myself and hold myself accountable when I feel I’ve not been doing even the bare minimum.
I will grow poco a poco, no pressure, no rush. I will explore and build and take my time to see, learn and observe. This is not to say that I won’t be well-rounded by this year end and it doesn’t mean that I won’t meet my yearly goals. But even if I don’t, it’s all good. We go again the next year.
It won’t be easy to start going gently all of a sudden. It’ll be quite difficult, because I have gotten used to being ruthless and fast paced. But it’s feasible and I will make it happen.
So I’m extending grace to you. Child, take it gently, as gently as you can. Do not be sucked in by the endless rush of the world, that you become toxic to yourself and you fail to see the little things that make life so beautiful and worth it.
